Kill Me.

Okayyyy guess who finally wrote the sequel to Kill Him??!! That’s right! It’s me. Its from the guy’s point of view this time. To those of you who weren’t here when I wrote Kill Him, you should go give that a read before reading this because it’s a sequel. You’ll be completely out of context otherwise. Hope you like it!

“Kill me.” Derek Wills said this with such composure, it was surprising to him. He was looking at her dead in the eye and she looked beautiful. She looked pained and guarded and dangerous, but beautiful. He expected her to pull the trigger, and for the first time, he wasn’t afraid. What was there to lose anyway? All his life he’d been working for bad people, living in fear, changing his identity. He’d been abandoned and brainwashed. All he’d ever been taught were the mafia ways. The only good in his life was her, and now that good was pointing a gun at his head. He wasn’t in danger, not really.

He remembered the first time his life was in danger. He was with his parents at a carnival at night. Being barely two, all he could recall were the blinding lights and his mother’s laugh. Suddenly, he heard his father shout and guns being shot. He began to cry. Dozens of men dressed in black invaded the joyous atmosphere of the carnival. There was a moment of shock before his mum left him at the café and promised to be back. She never came. He howled for his parents, but they never returned. He was picked up by one of the men and taken away. For years he expected his parents to come back, but they never did. At around age ten, he lost hope and completely gave himself to the mafias. He let them brainwash him. He saw the head Mafia as a saviour, his guardian. He began to loathe his parents for leaving him there that night, not realising his “saviour” killed them. He grew up listening to stories about how his parents abandoned him. This false hatred led to him being blindsided from all good things. He rose to the top and became the right hand man of the Mafia.

He remembered the second time his life was in danger. It was just after he’d been given the name ‘Don Draper’.  He got caught by the CIA and was tortured black and blue. They wouldn’t let him ago until he leaked information. Usually, people don’t rat out the Mafia in fear of being killed. He didn’t tell out of pure loyalty. This was the second time Mafia saved his life, helped him escape form the grasp of the CIA.  Mafia shouted at him and slapped him for being careless enough to get caught, but Derek was nothing but grateful him.

He remembered all the times the Mafia had saved him from the arms of death and he wondered where he was now. Where was Mafia now? Why wasn’t he here to take him away? Part of him wished he would appear, but the part blinded by love hoped he wouldn’t. Appearance of the Mafia would almost certainly mean death for Veronica.
Conflicting thoughts battled in his mind as he stared into her eyes.  He could see the resistance in her. Her fingers were placed on the trigger, but her heart wasn’t. He looked at her posture and remembered the first time he met her, right on this beach, in the shack behind. It was the greatest moment of his life. For the first time, his future didn’t seem dark. With her, he felt different, like there was good in this world. For the first time he saw an alternative life. This was the reason, for the first time, he wasn’t scared to die.

As he made peace with death and was about to ask her to kill him again, she dropped the gun. She looked retired and her hands were shaking. She looked at him for a moment and he saw the tears in her eyes. Before he could say anything, she turned around and began to walk away. The walk turned into a jog and eventually a sprint. He watched her leave and wondered if he should go after her.
No, he shouldn’t. She almost killed him. He loved her and she almost killed him. It wasn’t fair. The first time he saw happiness, it was fake. He was mad. Mad at her, mad at Mafia, mad at himself for being so gullible.He turned towards the sea and just stood there, watching the waves lap up and down. It was a beautiful night, and they could’ve been cuddling and talking, but instead, she’s off somewhere and he almost got killed.

For weeks they didn’t talk to each other, nor did they talk to their bosses. She let go of her mission, completely resigned from it even after repeated reminders. She introspected again and again, picturing the different scenarios that would’ve played out. She could’ve pulled the trigger, he would’ve died and she would’ve got recognition. But recognition at the cost of what? At the cost of losing the love of her life. No, that wasn’t legit.
She could’ve not pulled out the gun at all. She could’ve had a perfect date which ended with deep talks, soft kisses and cuddles. But at the cost of her job. No. Nobody was worth her job.
It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. She visited the last place she saw him every night, half hoping to see him, half hoping to disappear into the waves.

He didn’t work for the Mafia anymore. Without saying a word, he simply gave in his gun and bought an apartment to stay in. It was simple and he wondered why he hadn’t done it before. Every day, he thought about her. He wondered if she was doing okay, doing better than him. He’d forgiven her. He understood doing crazy things for the sake of one’s job. He had forgiven her and he still loved her. He visited that beach every night hoping she would be there, but she never was.

One night, he walked to the beach, not expecting what he saw. The night was calm and a pleasant wind blew on his face. The sky was clear and mysterious while the sea greeted him like an old friend. The entire site was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the girl sitting on the mouth of the sea. He felt his heart leap into his throat and his pulse fasten. Veronica sat in a defeated position; with her knees brought near her chest and her head in between her knees. She looked protected, like an artefact that was not supposed to be touched. An invisible wall surrounded her and for a moment, he thought about not going there at all. But love and want got the best of him and all he wanted at that moment was her. He jogged towards her and sat down next to her. He felt her tense up at his presence. She knew he was here, and for now, that was enough. They both sat there; her head bent down and his eyes glued on her.

“Veronica?” He said her name ever so subtly, softly. Her head jerked, but did not move from it’d position on her knees.
“I love you” he whispered, still looking at her crawled up like a foetus. Suddenly, she looked up and turned towards him. For a second, they just stared at each other. He looked at her and found that he’d memorised her face. This was the face he’d dreamt of seeing day in and day out for the past few weeks. The only difference was that in his dreams, the face wasn’t stained with tears. He touched her shoulder lightly and she simply leaned into his chest and held him close. The sobs came after that, and he could feel her short breaths and beating heart. She cried into his chest as he rubbed small circles on her back.
“It’s okay”, he assured her. “Everything is going to be fine.”
She sobbed even harder, and in between sobs, choked out the words, “I – I’m sorry I almost killed you.”
He smiled, as the tears started falling down his face too, “I’m sorry you almost killed me too.”

Credits to my bestests M and S for writing this with me! And this has to become a movie lol ❤

~going back to my perfect reverie


6 thoughts on “Kill Me.

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