1 mistake 2 hearts break

He felt filthy. He felt dirty. He felt his worth fall all the way down to his feet. He couldn’t help himself. They had fought, he had run to the closest bar, picked up a girl out of habit, and done the thing he could never undo.

“Out of habit”

He couldn’t believe he had just thought that! It wasn’t his habit, not anymore…
As if the hangover and guilt weren’t enough his brain decided to replay yesterday’s events.

***
” I can’t do this. I’m involved” Oh, at least he TRIED to refuse.
“There’s a reason you were at that bar alone right? Indulge on the chance” she whispered, as she kissed his neck.
“We fought, but I.. I can’t cheat”
“Its not cheating if she doesn’t know” she said before….
***

His stomach couldn’t take more, and he had a split second to roll over the bed and throw up whatever alcohol was inside his system. If only guilt could go that way too.

Because it was cheating. He had cheated. He ran away at the slightest chance of trouble and he cheated.

He groaned, as he decided to go shower and catch a cup of coffee. After he managed to get out of bed, in and out of the shower, and dress himself, he decided to call her. He had to get things off his chest. Maybe it wasn’t cheating if she didn’t know, but that didn’t make the guilt any less. As if she read his mind, a text appeared on his phone –
“Hey, we need to talk”
He sighed as he sent the reply –
“Yes we do. Half an hour, Starbucks?”
I’ll tell her, he thought. I’ll tell her the truth and then we’ll see where we stand.

That was probably the worst decision of his life.

*****

“I cheated on you last night” he whispered.
Her heart stopped. Here she was, apologizing for something that was hardly her fault. Apologizing for putting her work before him. Apologizing for saving 12 people in one night instead of giving him what he wants… And here he was, having the audacity to tell her he cheated.
She’d temporarily stopped listening to him, because now that she words were out, now that she knew, nothing mattered. She managed to hear a few words at the end.
“- and I’m sorry. I know it’s not an excuse, I know it was dirty. I want to bleach myself and get rid of the sins. But I can’t change what happened-”
She zoned out again. She didn’t give a rat’s ass about why he did it, and if he did it again, it wouldn’t be her problem.
Last night played in her mind as he kept going on about how sorry he was…

***
“I’m trying to save people’s lives! You should’ve known what you were getting into before you took this forward” She screamed.
“You’re right. Its my fault. It always is isn’t it? Its okay that you’re never home. Its also okay that I go to sleep with the sheets cold beside me, and wake up to the same” he said, submissively, before putting on his jacket and shoes.
“Well I’m sorry for that, you know I try, I try very hard! Wait, where are you going? ” she said, a little fear in her voice.
“I need some space to think. I can’t- just give me some space” he said, as he opened the door.
Suddenly the anger edged back in her voice ,”ITS ALL ABOUT PHYSICAL THINGS TO YOU, ISN’T IT?” But he hadn’t heard it, he was already out the door.
***

She had spent the last 12 hours thinking if it really was her fault. She thought maybe it wasn’t possible to keep two things she loved balanced. She imagines how he felt without her, all the time. She’d been thinking it was all her and she finally knew it wasn’t.
It isn’t my fault, she thought as a smile laced her lips.
” – so that’s all I wanted to- hey, why are you smiling? Does this mean we’re okay?” She threw her head back and laughed. “No sweetheart, we aren’t okay. We’re done. I’m done with you. I know you’re sorry and I know you love me…”
She leaned in closer to him, “.. but at the end, its all about the physical things for you isn’t it?” she said, caressing his cheek,
“Its all about the touches and the kisses” she finished as she kissed him, one last time, “It’s all about the physical, and that’s not enough for me”, she said before she got up, took her white coat and walked out, laughing.

****
He barely noticed all the people staring at him. His face was white with shock and stained with tears, as he saw the love of his life walk out of Starbucks, laughing and smiling.
She was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he let her go. He didn’t just let her go, he pushed her away. He let out a strangled sob as the weight of what just happened settled on his shoulders. He sat there, for God knows how long, and cried till his throat burned and his head hurt.
And the worst part, he thought as he buried his face in his hands to control his tears, was that she didn’t seem to have been affected by it at all.. Almost as if she’d expected and prepared for it.

****

What he didn’t know was that that confident stride and that smile out of Starbucks lasted about 5 minutes down the street. Then she let out the sob she’d been holding in, and cried as faces turned to look at her. She hurried down the street, as the tears made their way down her cheeks faster than her pace.
She couldn’t believe he’d cheated, but moreover she couldn’t believe she’d left him. That had taken more guts than any surgery she’d ever done, and as much as she was proud of herself, she couldn’t help but let out sobs as she realized the truth about the ‘ONE’… She had built an image of him in her head over the past few years, and when his actions faltered that image, she finally woke up.

She wasn’t in love with HIM, she was in love with the IDEA OF HIM, and that’s what hurt her the most.

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47 Comments Add yours

  1. Brilliant piece, loved it. Very relatable x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bysuesway says:

    Omg omg .. just choking up on my tears . Dam its very well written.
    Keep going.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. moi.trois says:

    Woah.
    The excerpt? I read and I was like YASSS

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kristinakoti says:

    I just couldn’t help but wish I could be faster, much more faster reading this. You make the world see, what was always there to see, but so busy to look the other way. You “force” your reader to look through your eyes, which is powerful and wonderful at the same time.
    I would really really really love you to check my blog and share your opinions about it. (I am a beginner) I am following you anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Molly says:

    Wow!! I love it 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Liked the flow, the narrative and of course the style of writing…yeah a fiction it is… you did well to make it appear as close as possible.keep writing,Wishes ahead !

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So touchy. You are amazing. Ultra talented. 😍😍😍😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey heyyy thanks so much 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are really super talented.😍

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha I don’t even know what to say. Thank you I guess, I just try my best

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Haha. Fact is fact that you are AMAZING.😵😍😍 BTW i wanted to know more about this liebster award since am new in this blogging.😘😘

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah sure. So basically the Liebster award is an award presented to bloggers who have less than 200 followers. It’s done so that new blogs (like you and me) are discovered by more people. The instructions are pretty simple, and they’re given in my blog post on the award. You can go check that out, and ask anything from there on 🙂
        Hope this helped

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You are so kind. Thanks for the information. Much love ! 👑😻

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Haylee says:

    Hi there! You have a really good flow to your writing and that made the story easy to read – I was eager to find out how it would all play out.
    I would have perhaps liked a little more narrative rather than dialogue, especially when her thoughts turn to the previous night – beginning with the dialogue made it seem a little like a continuation of the conversation in the coffee shop. But I do enjoy how you’ve swapped the POV around within the same story, works well I thought.
    So basically, keep up the great work, you seem to have adopted a fine writing style. One last thing – use the ‘read more’ button in your posts. That way, from your home page, readers aren’t scrolling through the whole story to get to the next / previous post. Helps boost your clicks and views too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey thank you so much for your appreciation and criticism! I will surely take them into account. Also about the read more button, I’ve been trying to get it done but just can’t figure out how! Please do let me know if you do 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haylee says:

        It’s with all the other editing icons when creating a post – looks like a little box with a dotted line in the middle of it. Just put your cursor where you want it to go and press the icon. Hope that works for you 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thanks I think I found it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Heyy took your advice and put in the “continue reading” feature! It definitely looks more manageable! Thank you so much 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haylee says:

        You’re very welcome! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Zaiyd says:

    Its so real.! It
    Feels real.. Good👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. sarahbruso says:

    A very sad and poignant account of what being trapped in a breaking relationship feels like.

    “She wasn’t in love with HIM, she was in love with the IDEA OF HIM, and that’s what hurt her the most.”
    I know what that’s like, and it’s a very hard place to be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that you had to go through this. I know it’s a very hard place to be and don’t wish it upon anyone.
      Thank you for commenting and stay Strong 🙂

      Like

      1. sarahbruso says:

        Thank you so much. I’m just glad it’s over now 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. revengestar says:

    what mistake? like he accidentally slipped and his penis happened to fall into another woman’s vagina? this story is not realistic at all cause cheaters do not have as much guilt as in this story. In fact most of them don’t have any guilt at all.
    *leaves your blog upset*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I love this comment 🙂 thanks for the feedback. Honestly it wasn’t meant to be realistic. It’s all a work of fiction at the end of the day. And people do feel guilty, or so I’ve read. I appreciate your opinion, but I’d like to stick to my story!
      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m sorry but I’m laughing terribly hard right now

      Liked by 2 people

      1. revengestar says:

        why are you sorry? the whole thing is funny !

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think this just turned from – I don’t agree with you to – let’s all laugh haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Now I’m just confused.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. revengestar says:

        i mean my comments are meant to be funny. you are going through a lot, it’s necessary to laugh from time to time

        Liked by 1 person

  12. awklifeblog says:

    This is great! I love how your stories are very realistic and could happen to many people. This is very relatable too. Keep writing! Your pieces are beautiful 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thank you so much! It means a lot for you to say that! Love that you like my work!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. therayofdark says:

    You should write more. This was amazing 😍❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Woah! This was amazing! It was as if I was in a trance! I loved the ending part! 😍💯

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thank you so much! Love that you loved it!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Logan S. says:

    You truly have an amazing writing style! Thank you so much for sharing this work. Keep up the great work! 🙂

    Like

  16. Jirah Merizz says:

    Wow, this was such a great post! I loved it. X Anyway can you please check my blog as well? X jirahmerizz.wordpress.com

    Have a great day wherever you are! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heyy glad you liked it! I will surely drop in to check out your blog!!
      (also its literally the end of the day where I am haha)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jirah Merizz says:

        Hahaha maybe I should change that to time. It’s also the end of the day where I am 😂

        Have a great time wherever you are! XD

        Liked by 1 person

  17. watttbox says:

    Your writing really sucked me in! This story was just marvellous. I love your writing techniques. Ahhh just everything about it was a thumbs up from me.
    The best part for me was definitely the end when she lasts about 5mins just to falter. Exactly what happens in reality. No one is indestructible and love unfortunately is the sharpest sword to pierce.
    LOVE IT!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was trying to keep it as realistic as possible and your feedback really helps! Thank you so much for faking the time to read my post!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Pseudonym says:

    OMGGG girl you are talented. I’m just here holding my heart,chocking up. This is so accurate of what happens. I love it omg I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg haha thank you so much! Glad yoy loved it! I hated the name so I changed it 😛 but other than that, I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself too!

      Liked by 1 person

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