Today Has Been Okay.

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11:56 PM, Tuesday

It was dark and chilly outside. Above her lay the magnificent sky, dotted with stars and shining dimly in the moonlight. Below her was the sea, splashing against the rocks in high tide. She stood on the edge of the cliff, taking in the endless darkness in front of her. The day was coming to an end, and she thought that it had been good.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Today had been okay.

11:57 PM, Tuesday

Her life had been one tragedy after another. Everyone died.

When she had been just 3 days old, she almost died because her lungs were not developed properly. But she hadn’t died, and it was seen as a miracle.

She had been okay.

When she was 7, her mother died of a pregnancy disorder. Her pre-maturely born brother died soon after since he was too young to be delivered.

That had not been okay

When she was 15, her father passed on due to alcoholism. The stress of raising two teenage daughters alone had gotten to him. She remembered him stumbling home night after night, drunk and slurring. But he came back every time, until one day, he didn’t.

That had not been okay.

When she was 19, her older sister of 27 died of brutal domestic abuse from her husband.

That had not been okay.

Everyone she had known to love had died and it was not okay. But she remained alive, forced to see it all. For some reason, she had been okay.

11:58 PM, Tuesday

She had heard people say that God took from earth only those who He loved. Clearly God happened to love everyone she loved.

When she was 20, just recovering from her sister’s death, she found out that her best friend had died of cancer.

That had not been okay.

When she was 24, she got a phone call. Her husband of merely two years had died in a plane crash. At 24, she was alone, left with her husband’s baby in her womb.

That had not been okay.

When she was 25, she learnt that her soon-to-be-born baby had no heartbeat. She was forced to give birth to a still-born baby. She lied there, with her still-born in her arms, crying and begging God to take her.

And that had not been okay.

But he didn’t. He left her and took everyone she loved, everyone He loved. Apparently God did not love her, and she remained okay.

11:59 PM, Tuesday

Soon she came to understand that any day that no one she loved died was a good day. The only problem was that there was very little left in the world that she loved. She looked outside the window and it looked like it was Spring. Her friends told her that too. But without nothing to live for, the seasons passed her by.

Love had lost its cause, but yet she thought that the day had been okay.

12:00 AM, Wednesday

She opened her eyes, and looked at the world for the last time. She looked around her and for the first time in a very long time, it looked beautiful. The wind softly blew on her skin. The air was so lovely and thin. Sprays of salty water coming from below her cooled her face.

She thought about how God only took the people he loved. What would he say to her arrival?

She smiled. Everyone in her life had died, but no one had gone in vain. They all stayed in her, forever.

She took a deep breath and looked down.

This life has been insane, she thought.

She let the breath out and jumped into the sea and rocks below her, the smile still on her lips.

But today has been okay.

 

(Author’s note: scheduling to post this at 12 A.M. on Wednesday is merely a coincidence, I swear)

~Going back to my perfect reverie

 

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Your writing is magnificent here.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Evie says:

    Oh my god. Oh my god. Do you know how beautiful this is??? ❤
    Gosh you are an amazing writer!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha thank you so so much! I don’t even know what to say ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Evie says:

        No problem 🙂

        Like

  3. scribblesofsophie says:

    Wow, really great piece. I’m a bit unsure what to say!

    Liked by 1 person

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