UNWRITTEN

unwritten
words that will always stay on my lips.

 

You said it in a simple, nonchalant way. Like it didn’t matter, like it didn’t affect us, like you weren’t going half way across the world.
You told me that they had accepted your application to transfer to New York for an apprenticeship under the very best artists. I knew how much you wanted that apprenticeship, but I hadn’t known you were applying.

Did I even know you at all?

You asked me to go with you, but you knew I couldn’t leave. I wanted to, I still want to. I look at the taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me, and I can’t help but wish you’d taken me with you. Maybe if you had forced me or begged me a little more, I would’ve come. Maybe I could be there with you.
Maybe. But not quite.
The days before you left were short, gone in the blink of an eye. Delicate conversation, carefully avoiding the approaching future. Soft kisses, begging you to stay. Jokes about how you will. Empty promises and a long, long fall into love.

We stumbled through the long goodbye. Tears and tight hugs unwilling to let go. But too soon you had to leave. One last kiss and you had to catch your flight.
I saw your plane take off, flying higher and higher right when I was just about to fall deeper and deeper.

I told myself not to get attached, but in my mind I play it back, the memories spinning faster than the plane that took you. You were gone, but still right here in front of me. I see you in everything, I hear you in every song. You’re in me. Embedded and dangerously close, yet so, so far away.
That is when the feelings sinks in, I don’t want to need you like this.
Come back, be here.

I miss you, I love you. Every second of every day. And its not fair, because we had just started. We had so much more, so many plans.
This is the cruelest way to fall in love, because this is falling for you when you are worlds away. I wish I was there, I wish New York was here, because I don’t wanna miss you this way.

So come back, be here.

~A letter I’ll never write

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. Really good post, I feel that sadness, I can relate to it. Being miles away from the one you love is really hard 💛

    Like

  2. hideawaygirl says:

    Again, this was so sad and romantic. I loved this and I wouldn’t mind being in New York too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. perfectreverie says:

      For some unknown reason I find writing sad stuff easier… Its nothing personal just a thing ^.^ I’m trying break that habit though

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hideawaygirl says:

        No, I really like it! I think writing sad stuff brings a lot of life into the story and connects with the reader 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. perfectreverie says:

        Hahaha I think so too, maybe that’s why I write that way 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Evie says:

        Writing sad things is beautiful. Without sadness, I believe, you can’t have any other emotions.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That is a wonderful justification to the way I write! I’m going to use that when people call me depressed because I write melancholic things

        Liked by 1 person

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